Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day

A Letter to my Father




Dear Dad,

This father’s day I wanted to take time to write you a legit letter instead of just getting a card. So here it goes:

Growing up I have always known how much you loved me. You have never fallen short of showing love, even when I confused your love and discipline for anger or unfairness. You have always been a solid in my life just as a Father should be. Not only have you given me a good picture of a earthly Father but in a lot of ways you have shown me characteristics of my Heavenly Father and that is the biggest thing a man can do for his children. Thank you for always being solid, even when I fought against you. Children need someone who they can always count on to be there, whether they like what you have to say or not.

I also want to apologize for any of my own short-comings and thank you for loving me through them. I have obviously made mistakes in my life and some of my mistakes have affected my family in negative ways. Thank you for not giving up on me and for loving me when i clearly didn’t deserve it.

I am so glad I have so many of your characteristics. My favorite is that I speak my mind and don’t take any crap. For a long time I didn’t do that (especially to certain people) and you taught me that it’s okay to be a strong woman and have opinions. I have a right to be heard and to be validated in my feelings and what I think. For a long time I thought women were just supposed to keep quiet, but in a lot of situations we are supposed to speak up for ourselves. I have finally learned this “no bull-crap” attitude, but not in an arrogant way!

The biggest most important thing I can thank you for is loving Elijah. As you know your kids are the most valuable and treasured thing in your life and I regret so much the situation I brought my child in to. But I am eternally grateful and extremely blessed to have a dad who has stepped in as a Father figure to my baby. He loves you so much it’s ridiculous and you honestly have no idea how much joy it brings to my heart. God took a situation that I obviously screwed up and has turned it into the most amazing gift I could have ever received, and you have been a huge part of that. So thank you for being Elijah’s papa. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for loving mom. Thank you for always pushing me. Thank you for being honest. Thanks for seeing potential and value in me when I didn’t. Thank you for truly being a Father. I love you.

Xoxo, Bethany

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Lets Get It!

Okay so I asked some of you if you wanted to partake in this fitness/health challenge with me!

First of all I want to state what the main goal of this is:
Get healthy and active so we can partake in things in life that require a healthy body. So we can love ourselves more and feel comfortable. So we can play with our kids longer. So we can live longer. This is not about becoming a certain size (although you should set a REALISTIC goal for yourself to strive towards) or becoming ripped. This is about knowing your true beauty and value and learning how to take care of yourself BECAUSE you deserve it!!!

***Special Note***
If you find yourself eating when you are stressed, alone, tired, or emotional; you are an emotional eater. This is something not to be ashamed of, I once gained about 15-20 lbs because I was emotionally eating and unaware of it. That was one of the most darkest parts of my young life and I am so glad God showed me that I was self destructing. I would eat and feel disgusted. This is often how eating disorders are started (either purging or way over eating) so if you think this MIGHT be you please check out the book "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst. It really, really gave me the motivation to change my life.


For beginners:
This is for people who really don't do much and eat mainly whatever is convenient or easy whether it is healthy or not. (Don't be ashamed, everyone is at this stage at some point and some people never choose to leave it!)

How you eat-
Phase One:
Start with something small. Cut out your favorite unhealthy item. Replace it with something similar, it may take you a few tries to find something that satisfies your overwhelming need for Dr. Pepper. Or Braum's ice cream. It can be as simple as switching from full fat ice cream to sugar free. You have to start small because after-all this is the beginning from you. We drink milk as babies, we don't eat steak and burgers. Over aiming  by saying "I'm going to cut out all junk food and soda" when you have never cut any of that from your diet before is setting you up for failure. Also during this period of time (Give it at least a week, for the weaker willed you may want to do 2 weeks) start incorporating more nutrient rich foods. I will make a list of things I enjoy at the end of this post. You can always get on the Healthy & Fitness section of Pinterest for ideas! This phase is also good for learning portion control! If you normally have 2 plates, you are most likely over-eating. If you feel like you are ready to move past your "addictive foods" move on to Phase 2 for the mid-health people.

How you train-
When I first started out i did 2 things. I worked out to Jillian Michaels DVD's. I followed her 5-6 days a week workout program. It may be simple as walking for 30 minutes a day for you. The point for beginners is to BEGIN something.. anything. Do this for as long as you need to. It took me about a month to get motivated in the working out area. I was extremely unmotivated to work out. I hated getting exhausted and feeling like I couldn't do what she was telling me to do. I always felt gross in the clothes. This was also when I was most ashamed of my body and the way I had let it get. I pushed through and finally made it to a "mid-health" person. Once you feel like you don't absolutely HATE working out and you want a little more of a challenge, move on to mid-health. Your diet and workout levels wont always be the same. You may move on to one phase faster than the other, that's okay as long as you are progressing! Just do not quit! It can take even up to 3 months before you see a difference in yourself.

For "mid-health" People:
This is for the people who have a general idea about health and fitness. You have learned enough to know that you can't eat McDonald's or drench your salad in ranch dressing and expect to lose any weight (even if you are working out religiously) This is for the people who want a little more of a challenge.

How you eat:
Your past cutting out things you are "addicted" to. You are curious about what options are out there. This is when I started looking at bodybuilding.com
There are so many people with so many different "meal plans" and diets to follow. It gave me a lot of ideas and I pretty much made up my own based off of theirs. Don't get yourself so crazy that you are trying to figure out your "macro nutrients" and etc. When you get to the Crazed Stage you might be interested in doing that, but at this point you need to focus more on cleaning yourself up a lot more than you did in the first phase. This means it's time to start eating wheat bread and wheat noodles, less canned veggies and more fresh veggies. Cut back on dairy but don't completely rid yourself of it. Start eating more chicken and fish than beef. This is also when you might want to start drinking whey protein shakes as part of your day.

How you train:
This is time to move on to something more intense. Don't burn yourself out but really learn to push yourself. When you have decided you want to start running rather than walking, push yourself. Make yourself go all the way up the hill. Make yourself run that extra half mile. You CAN do it. It may feel like you won't make it but I promise you aren't going to die and you will be so proud of yourself later! When you decide to go buy your first set of dumbells get 2 pair. Get a pair that is hard and get a pair that is CHALLENGING. Do your sets with the averagely hard pair and on your last set use the challenging ones. Even if you can't completely finish your last set, you are working your muscles and building them up slowly so eventually you can do all of your sets with that pair. It's all about learning to push yourself to know you can do more during this phase. At this phase you MAY want a trainer or someone to push you.

For the crazies!
I myself am almost here. You love fitness now. You want everything better. You actually feel good about yourself and want to feel even better because you know you can. These are people who love eating healthy and love the gym. This can take 6 months or sometimes more to get to.

How you eat:
You may go all the way to the point of figuring out your macro's in this phase. Or you may just be eating "clean" 98% of the time (let's be real, nobody is going to cut out crap for everyday all day all week). Most people when they reach this stage eat clean for pretty much the rest of their life. You realize how it affects your health and wellness and how good it makes you feel.

How you train:
Your most likely in the gym at least 5 days a week, or doing some kind of working out as often as possible. A lot of people get rid of trainers and just find a workout buddy at this point. You have learned enough to train yourself but may still seek accountability or someone who can push you even further.


Some "clean eats" ideas;
Almonds, sugar free jello, Whey Protein shakes, mozzarella cheese sticks, greek yogurt, any fruits and vegetables, almond butter or natural peanut butter, cherry tomatoes, oatmeal (actually make it and sweeten it with honey and fruit, prepackaged is filled with sugar), lean meats like turkey chicken and fish, brown rice, avocado, hummus, popcorn (light butter or kettle), eggs or egg whites, spinach, balsamic vinegar dressing, I personally have grown to love tuna... the list goes on.

Like I said I get a lot of ideas off of pinterest when I am getting bored with what I eat.


I will post more tips and things later on (:
xoxo,
Bethany