I can literally talk for hours about how much I love Jesus. I can talk to you for extended periods of time about all He has done in my life and just how deep my love is for Him who saved me from SO much heartache. But let's get real here, I fail Him every single day.
This post isn't about being guilty or feeling condemned. Its more about how sufficient his love is, even when our love for Him falls short.
In John 13:36-38 Peter is confessing to Jesus just how much he loves Him, just as I do every day. Peter even goes to the extent of saying he would DIE for Jesus. Jesus straight up calls Peter out. He tells him that He will deny him 3 times before the end of the day. And Peter does.
I pray to God every morning thanking him for everything He has done for me, rescued me from, blessed me with, blessings that I have not received yet, and so on. But how many times do I go through my day and don't ask his opinion on my situations? How many times do I just decide on my own how to handle things. How many times do I ignore conversations that need to be had, because it is more comfortable to not "go there" with people.
This is where I find myself. Denying God all day long. I am seeking him, yet denying him as well. I can honestly say I am IN LOVE with my savior. Absolutely irrevocably insanely madly truly in love with him, yet my love will ALWAYS fall short. This is the problem with man and woman, with humans. We can never ever ever meet up to his standard of love. You can be just as in love with money, sex, drugs, another person, your children, your career, a sports team or sport, cars and boats, porn, facebook, fitness, etc. But no matter what.. you wont save as much money in your bank account one month. You will find yourself lusting after the wrong person. You will fail your kids by over promising them something. You will be late to work. You'll miss your favorite teams "big game". You wont get to spend as much time working on your car or boat. You'll miss your session of porn at night. You wont be able to log in to facebook because your busy actually working. You will cheat on your diet and skip the gym. You see? This is our problem. Our love is a very flawed love. It will always fall short in one way or another. You will "deny" the things you say you love at some point. But Jesus, no. Never. He is solid and true and he cannot lie. He is never going to fail you. I pray you find peace and comfort in that. And let go of your other Gods that will not only fail you, but bring you into bondage. God gives freedom and all he asks is for our heart. Other gods demand our time, and as we give time it will demand more and more of us. The more you indulge in something the more you feed it. Indulge in your problems and watch them get bigger. Indulge in your "gods" and watch them become magnificent. Watch yourself be paranoid about your bank account, about your wife seeing your history on the internet and eventually the DVD's in your dresser. Watch how your boss finds out how much time you spend on facebook. Look and see how your kids become distant from you/ But if you indulge in God, watch how those chains fall off. See how his love and grace will bring you a freedom you never knew you could have. Watch your money turn to good. Watch your kids ask YOU to hang out. Watch your wife or husband fall madly in love with you all over again. Watch your fitness goals become attainable. Let his unfailing love, unlike ours, overwhelm your life.
-Bethany
