Friday, December 30, 2016

Completely Consumed

I will draw you to me forever
In righteousness in justice and in mercy
I will draw you and me together
In loving kindness in faithfulness and in grace
No longer your master

 But your husband I will be

You have ravished my heart
With one glance of your eye 
How fair is your love
My promised my br

This song speaks volumes to my heart and soul. There's no doubt that my heart desires that connection with a human man, and I've come to the realization that it's not something to feel bad about. It's a desire God has placed inside of me and it's something that he wants for me. He wants me to have that person to lead me closer to Him. He has someone for me who will challenge me to think outside of my traditions and question why I believe what I believe. He has a promise for me to be taken care of and loved just as he loves his "bride", which is the church. I believe these things. I believe his promises he has spoken directly to me. I know he has me waiting and that's okay. I've learned that there is so much beauty in waiting. There is so much growth. My mind has expanded, my love for people and God has grown. My self worth truly comes from Him. I'm learning so much in this season of waiting. I have learned that it's okay to desire a husband and i don't have to deny that part of my heart. I have learned it's important to ask questions and to be confrontational in a healthy way. I am learning to trust that a person who is seeking God fully is a person i want in my life, regardless if it is a friendship or a more personal relationship. I am learning that my son is my first responsibility. Teaching him about Jesus and who God created him. Developing his character and encouraging him in his strength and weaknesses. I know someday God will bring me that teammate and I promise to be so grateful for them and supportive and loving and gracious and understanding and encouraging and affectionate and intentional and forgiving as the Holy Spirit will empower me to do. I will always seek Christ to help me love this teammate to the best that i can. 

BUT, I say all of that to say.... Christ is no longer my master but my HUSBAND. Gosh, that is sooo beautiful to me while I am waiting. Everything God has promised to me he can fulfill and wants to fulfill for me in this season. That is so intimate. You have RAVISHED my heart with just one glance of your eye. The overwhelming peace I get when i hear these words i cannot begin to describe. There is truly no other love like the love of Christ. It's unshakeable, undeniable, unrelenting, all consuming, encompassing, all knowing, unwavering, unchanging, perfect love. What more could you ask for? 

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