Does it even matter?

Do you ever go through your day feeling like what you're doing is really making no difference at all? I often times find myself living my day to day life without intention and i don't even realize it. 

One of the things i am most afraid of in life is that my life will end and i will not have done what God had for me to do. I think the only way to really be satisfied with our lives is to constantly be seeking God and his will for us and when we know what that is we need to make consistent and intentional plans to get there. 

You can't just go through life living unintentionally with no goals and expect to get anywhere worth going. You can't expect your dreams to come if you aren't doing anything to attain them. I realize that i live far too many days focusing on my small tasks that i don't make intentional plans to follow through on the things that will get me where I know God has for me to go. It's so easy to just think "wake up. make coffee. listen to podcast. get dressed. go to work. make money. pick up kid. go to gym. talk to boyfriend. check in with parents. do homework. make dinner. take shower. hang out with kid. eat snack. pray. go to bed. repeat." But where is the intention in that day? That's a pretty routine day for me if i'm being honest. Yeah i intentionally go to the gym and i intentionally listen to podcasts and i intentionally spend time with my kid and those are all honestly priorities in my life but it's hard to see where those things will take me... if they will take me anywhere. 

I dream of being a great mom. My dream is to be a supportive and loving wife. I want to be my friends biggest cheerleader. I dream of attaining the physique i desire. I dream of being able to give in large amounts. I dream of having a solid schedule at work with no gaps. I dream of traveling. I dream of ministering to single moms. I dream of having more children. I dream of having a complete family. I dream of deep connections with people. I dream of supernatural miracles. I dream of being able to read books in coffee shops. I dream of being cherished by a man who cherishes his relationship with Christ above every other thing in his life. I dream of a man who dreams my dreams with me, and lets me in on dreaming his dreams with him. I dream of a simpler life, but an extraordinary one. 

I pray that God gives me the wisdom to make INTENTIONAL decisions each day to push me toward these dreams. My God is faithful and i dream that all of these dreams will come to pass as i remain faithful to Him.